Insert Primal Scream here please and you will understand how i have felt today. Actually, for over a year now my lovely tween daughter has had the power to cause these screams at a moments notice.
When did i give my power away? Why? I don't know. It just sort of crept up on me one day i think. Or maybe, like the frog who is placed in a pan of water and doesn't notice he is being slowly boiled, i have become so accustomed to dealing with the puberty driven chaos that i didn't notice that the heat had been turned up and suddenly, it seems like life or death.
I wonder if the frog ever jumps out of the boiling water before he becomes dinner? Hmmmm, i think more research is needed.
Meanwhile, i will keep praying. For our relationship mostly because i really worry that we won't have one by the time this child grows up. I mean, not a great one like i would want for us. I never want us to be one of those mom/daughter pairs who only call on birthdays or major holidays, and then grudgingly. I never had that sort of thing with my mom, and i never wanted to have that with my own children. When i was mad at my mom, i told her. She didn't always like it, but at least we were honest about it. When she was mad at me, she told me. Usually, we were both rather loud about it too, but we always loved each other, even when we didn't particularly like one another. And that was rare. I think it was rare. Or maybe, just maybe, like the painful memories of childbirth, God allows us to eventually forget those angry words and heated moments? I hope so.
I love this kid. She will be a great lawyer, politician, or other paid arguer one day. Until then, i wish she wouldn't practice so much on me. (you may insert weak smile here...)
Peace to all you mamas. and to you children too. May god bless and keep you all-
