I am in pain. I have Fibromyalgia. I have been in pain for 13+ years. For the first few years we chased a diagnosis. I went to doctor after doctor and all they could tell me was that I was a "puzzle", an "enigma", and it was "all in my head". Only it wasn't all in my head. In fact, it was usually everywhere except my head as ironically, it began as migraines but I had very few headaches after the first year.
Symptoms came and went but the aches and swelling and fatigue stayed- they always stay.
I do have good days, but for the most part, I am in pain.
After a while, pain changes you. Once, I was an energetic, smart, easy going, capable, strong, and kind mom.
Now, I feel like none of those things.
After all these years, the only thing I have found is that I have an underlying auto-immune disease, nothing stops the pain, and I'm not nearly as adept at hiding things as I once thought I was.
I'm praying still for peace, and the strength to be alla the things I was before, again.
I refuse to lose hope, however, on days like today, it doesn't seem likely anytime soon. Today, I'm frustrated, and ,
in pain.
