Day 3- 30 Day Writing Challenge- Pet Peeves

Day 3- 30 Day Writing Challenge

What are your top 3 pet peeves?

What are my top three pet peeves? Sadly, I am easily annoyed. It is one of the besetting sins that I deal with and can’t seem to get completely free from.  Still, I can easily pick the three things that annoy me easier than anything else; being lied to, laziness, and blatant rudeness.

Everyone is guilty of the “little white lie”, like “I’m fine” when you feel like crap or “No, I didn’t want any more, you take the last piece” when you’re at a church picnic. We all occasionally tell people they look okay when what you really mean is “don’t you own a mirror?”   What I hate more than anything else is someone being deceitful, especially if it is someone I love or who claims to love me. When my children lied growing up, that and unbridled rebellion would get them in worse trouble than the thing they were lying about, and I always found out the truth.  In my opinion, a lie changes the relationship altogether because where there is no trust, there is no real intimacy.

Laziness is another thing that sets my teeth on edge. I have always been of the mind that if you have to do something, you may as well get it done. Perhaps this is because I am the oldest and always seemed to be responsible for the other children, the general housekeeping, and sometimes even the meals and I knew that if it wasn’t done there would be help to pay if it wasn’t done. It might also be because I have been so ill I couldn’t do anything other than lie in bed and I felt so useless. It irks me when I see someone who is able bodied refusing to get all they can out of life or at least do what they can in life.

Blatant rudeness is the least of my top three because rudeness is sometimes in the eye of the beholder.  My youngest child for example has a weird sense of humor and frankly many people just don’t get it. Often her wit is received as rudeness but I know she is trying to be funny and nothing more. I have cautioned her that she has to be careful but she thinks I’m just an old sour puss. Still, there are some people whose rudeness is unmistakable and pointed like a sword. For instance; young people who make fun of the elderly simply because they are older and slower or people who go out of their way to reveal someone else’s weakness or faults, especially publicly.

As I said, there are a great many things that annoy me and I have worked to bring this number down considerably over the years. I’m made progress, but I’m still so far from “chill” that I find that I’m often annoyed with myself. Hmmmm.

So, there is Day 3 my peeps. I hope you have been considering your own 30 day writing challenge, but if that is too big a bite to take, how about a 7 day writing challenge? How about an every Saturday writing challenge? Anything to get the juices flowing is a start. Happy writing y’all; I’d love to see what you write and love to hear what you think about mine. 

Till next time, Peace.

TheWritingMommy

Day 2 of my 30 Day Writing Challenge- "Words you never forgot."

30 Day Writing Challenge – Day 2

Write something that someone told you about yourself that you never forgot.

In the interest of fairness, I will tell of two things I was told that I never forgot; one favorable, one hurtful. 

Actually, I think both were offhanded comments, not meant to hurt or help, but just part of passing conversations. It is interesting the things we hang on to, and all the things we forget.

In the summer of 1980 I was 14 years old. I lived with my dad and his family during the school year but was staying with mom and my sisters for the summer. My Aunt happened to be living with mom at the time so while it was cramped there I was thrilled nonetheless.  We had grown apart as we’d aged my aunt Neda and me.  As a child mom and I lived with her sometimes and I stayed with her a lot when mom was off chasing rainbows.

It happened that one day we were in the kitchen together; I was making lemonade and she, a margarita. The temperature that summer was over a hundred degrees every day that year and I was determined to get a tan even if I literally had to bake to do it, so I was wearing my bikini. My Aunt and I were making drinks as I mentioned and making small talk as we did so and she noticed a photo I was using as a bookmark. 

“Who’s that hunk?” she asked.

“That’s my boyfriend, Leif Garrett.” I smiled

Her look revealed her doubt as I began to giggle. “No really, who is he cause he couldn’t be your boyfriend.” she said as if she were telling me the sky was blue or the day was Monday. 

“He’s a singer Aunt Neda; wait, why couldn’t he be my boyfriend?” I asked sincerely

“Because he is way too cute to date you; you could never get a looker like that kiddo.”

I stood there not knowing quite what to say. See, I was raised in the south and you did not sass your elders, or we didn’t anyway. I wanted to cry but I was too embarrassed even for that. I began to wonder if she was right; was I not worthy of a handsome boyfriend? Was I not good enough for someone like him?  She never knew how her words hurt me and I still feel the sting of that statement some days but then I look at my most handsome husband and I know that she was wrong.

Years later, about 25 years later in fact, I was to have another innocent comment affect me as deeply, but in a more positive way.

I was giving a friend a ride to work. I don't remember if her car had broken down or her husband needed it that day, but for whatever reason we were in the car together that morning. We were having the normal co-worker sort of conversation; what was going on that day, what we might expect later and what had happened the day before when she suddenly got sort of serious. 

“Ann, I need to thank you.”  Of course, I assumed she was thanking me for the ride again so I began to tell her it really was alright and not a big deal. She stopped me mid sentence.

“No, let me say this. I want to thank you for what you said a couple of months ago.” I couldn’t remember what I’d said last night since we’d adopted another daughter and this one had sleep issues as well so I asked her what I said that could have been so profound that she remembered it for that long. 

“We were talking about church service that night. It was a Wednesday, and we were both beat from the day. I told you that I couldn’t believe you had the energy to go to church after the day we’d had and you simply said, “I don’t have the energy to go, but I’m going anyway. It isn’t always about what we want though, is it? It’s about fellowship, and community, and doing the right thing even when it’s the hard thing.” Then you moved on to another topic as if that were something that anyone might say, or think, or feel. But it wasn’t. And that statement made me rethink a lot of things in my life and I want to thank you.”

All I could say was, “you’re welcome.” because honestly, I didn’t remember saying it. I believed her because that was how I saw the matter, but it really didn’t seem like a big deal to me, doing what you commit to I mean.

Her thanks that day made me more aware of what I said for a very long time. Sadly, I don’t always pay as close attention before it leaves my mouth, but I do try. 

Anyway, those are two things that were said to me that have stayed for all these years. They remind me how very important our words are to those who receive them and remind me to use them wisely and well. 

And that is my Day 2 writing assignment. Nothing really earth shattering but I did show up, and that is really the most important part of writing most days. Isn't it? 

As always, I'd love to hear your comments or your own Day 2 writing. Peace to you all-

TheWritingMommy

30 Day Writing Challenge Accepted! Day 1

Hey everyone, I have been so "blocked" lately that I am committing to this 30 Day Writing Challenge that I found on Pinterest as a way to sort of rev up my writing engine. (Plus, I can't seem to get a clear thought about what to write)

So, join me in writing here if you like by your comments or links; I would love to read your words. Or, just read mine if you choose and feel free to add helpful critique. I have no real idea what to expect as I am really rusty right now.

Peace to you all my peeps. TheWritingMommy

Day 1
List 10 Things that make you really happy.

1. God The Father, Jesus his Son, and The Holy Spirit. It might appear that this is three, but The Trinity is one. Such a hard thing to explain, but by faith, I know it is true. I was asked by my niece, who is Muslim, to explain The Trinity and I found how really hard it is to explain this to someone who doesn't share my faith.  I likened God, in all His aspects, to a mom. She was 12  at the time so I felt using a "mom" would be a tangible idea that she could grab hold of. It went something like this:

" Your mom is a mom, right?"

 Of course I got a "well, duh" response and moved on.

"She is also a daughter and sister, correct?" I thought i could see a seed of understanding forming so I continued.

"Besides these two different persons, your mom is also a woman, complete independent from those roles. She is all three of these persons but in each role she is singular to that identity. Well, God made us in His image and while we are nowhere near the complex being that our Creator is, the way that we can be one person and serve so many roles is a bit like Him, only He does it way better."

That is a simplistic explanation I know but I'm no theologian and she was at the time simply a child trying to learn of the world around her and how differently we all believe. She is still a Muslim, and I am still a Christian and I love God above all else. I love His Word, I love His creation, I love the relationship I have with Christ and the certainty I feel about salvation through grace by faith.

2. My husband. My husband Tommy is my favorite person to be around. We have been married 22 years in July 2016 and in all those years we have experienced so much life, death, sickness, health, even financial reversals both good and bad. We have raised a son, daughters, animals and food. We have made messes and had to clean them up and we have been so angry we acted like fools, but through it all we have learned and grown and I truly enjoy him more than any other person. Being his wife truly makes me happy.

3. My best friend Bonnie. My friend Bonnie and I have been friends for 26 years or so. We have been best friends for probably 24 of those years and just like with my Tommy, we have been through a lot in those years. We held each other as we cried when we each lost our mom to cancer, we laughed, cheered, and cried again as we watched our boys grow into men. She allows me to be the essence of "me" and doesn't judge, isn't fake with me, and is comfortable being herself around me and that makes me very happy.

4. My kids. You might be wondering right about here why the husband, or at least the best friend are above the children. Well, here's the thing. I love my kiddos, all three of them, plus the daughter in law and the honorary children who started out as my children's friends and came to be "my kids" by their own choice, but kids are work! My children are all, 100% a blessing from The Lord. I was told when I was 21 years old that due to the repeated sexual abuse I endured and the scarring that had developed I would never be able to get pregnant and even if I did, I would never be able to carry a baby to term. I didn't know The Lord then, not in any real way, but I know it was by His grace that I conceived my son on New Years day 1987. I went into early labor at three months gestation but thanks again to God, the doctors at Baylor Hospital, and bed rest for the next 5 months, I gave birth to the greatest miracle in my world and my first real love; Jacob Dillon.  When he was not yet three I was found to have cervical cancer and needed a hysterectomy. I was so sad at the news. I wanted to have at least one more child and told the doctor so. He, whose bedside manner was likely learned from Sesame Street's Oscar the Grouch, told me, "If you want to live to see this one grow up you'll have the surgery!" I left the office crying and praying and of course, I had the surgery; exploratory laparotomy with removal of the cervix, uterus, and the left ovary. Two year later I would have the other ovary removed as it proved to have a fast growing cyst the size of a baby's head on it. Thankfully, that growth was benign. One divorce, one marriage, and ten years later God answered my simple prayer that I prayed as I left the doctor's office; My husband and I were asked to adopt a baby. My husband and I agreed to adopt the baby and were blessed with a girl; our sweet Shelby. Then, three years later, we were asked to adopt another girl under different circumstances and did so again adding our baby daughter Haley to the family. God always gives abundantly, doesn't He? Still, while they are blessings, miracles, and all that ooey gooey stuff, they are work. We decided when we chose to adopt that I would become a "stay at home mom",( a term that was coined by someone who'd never held the position since staying home was rarely part of the job description). My husband was and is very supportive though and we tag teamed through the sleepless nights that seemed to never end for one reason or another, through the inevitable feelings of overwhelm and isolation, through the lean times when I was sure that my efforts would be best served bringing in more money rather than shaping our kids' futures. I love them all, and they do make me happy, but they have also been my career, which I have taken very seriously, sometimes too seriously, thereby missing some of the "happy".

4. Creating. I love to create things with words, paper, sounds, clay, paint, anything I can use to create with really. I just love the feeling of creating something. It is only amplified by seeing someone's appreciation of the thing I've created. Making stuff just makes me happy.

5. Music. I love music. All kinds, genres, and aspects of music. Well, almost ALL kinds. I have to admit, I am not a fan of opera or the "screaming so loud you can't understand the words" kind.

6. Art. I love to go to art museums, I love to watch people creating art whether it is a painter, a sculptor, quilter, or crafter. I truly enjoy the feelings it evokes and the inspiration something created with heart and soul gives.

7. Reading. Oh I love to read. Reading may well be in the top five but it is hard to tell since it is usually based on "what am I in the mood for?" And, as a writer, reading often falls into the category of "work".

8. Visiting my family. I have 8 younger sisters and 2 younger brothers. One brother, our sweet and silly Robin, died from complications of Kidney Disease in 1996. I love visiting my family members and don't do it nearly as often as I would like. My sisters have not always been my closest friends because I was older and often the care giver, but as adults we have developed more balanced and open relationships and I find them to be amazing women. I love my brother too but he's a "guy's guy" and I don't know a lot about hunting or fishing or the music he listens to (Death Metal). So, while we talk about our kids or how things are going in general, he is a man of few words and we don't just "hang out" like I can with my sisters. We see each other at Daddy's house mostly and that works pretty well. I love my dad and step mom and visiting their house and it makes me smile when we all get together whether at my house or for family reunions or holiday celebrations.

9. Food. Oh my gosh, I almost forgot food. I really enjoy food. Whenever I get the chance, I like to try new things, although texture has been an issue over taste many times. Food makes me happy. So happy though, sometimes I have to will myself to move away from the cookie!

10. Working out. I actually really enjoy going to the gym. I'm thankful that I can move my body and work up a sweat because there was a time I couldn't. I have had Fibromyalgia for years and there have been periods of time when the pain was so debilitating that I was in bed for days, only walking to the bathroom and when possible, to cook for my family. Those were the worst days. I'm grateful that I can walk and move and I really enjoy the "me time" working out affords. It allows me to distance myself from all mental and emotional stress, which actually makes it easier for me to work on those things that are stressful.


So, there you have it: My Day 1 writing. Sort of long I think. It has been a while since I have written anything so I will have to work on brevity again apparently. This is a first draft too by the way. No editing, just off the cuff words from my head and heart and hands to the keyboard.

Again, I'd love to see your "Day 1" if you would care to share. Peace and love to you all-

TheWritingMommy

Lucy, The Movie

I can't wait to see this movie. The idea of using all of one's brain is so exciting to me. After all the medicine I've taken over the years for Fibromyalgia, then heart attack, and TIA, I find that my brain capacity or at least the cognitive part of it, has decreased dramatically, and that makes me so sad.

I have always love writing, reading, philosophy, and the like and as we age or are faced with health crises,  those things take much more energy.  I think this movie will be exciting and compelling in a number of ways.

Where oh where has the euphoria gone?

For the first couple of weeks after the heart attack I was euphoric. This, I'm told, is to be expected. Now, the euphoria is gone and I am left with the questions. Don't get me wrong, the thankfulness for another day, another opportunity, another blessing, is still very real for me but I find that I am now wondering "why me?"

Why was I saved? Why am I still here? I feel a need to do something amazing, big, important in response to the amzing, big, and important thing that God has done for me. I find myself feeling like I couldn't possibly be nice enough, love well enough, or serve heartily enough to warrant this gift of time that I've been given.

So, what do I do now? I have prayed for guidance, asked for help from on high, and looked to The Bible for help and I'm still waiting for answers. In the meantime it appears that as any good soldier must, I need to continue on in my last duties till new marching orders are forthcoming.

What I do now is continue to pray for my family, friends, community, and any other needs that present themselves. I continue to write, encourage in both print and in person, I continue to raise my children and serve my community, and I do my best to honor God however I can.

Still, it seems like an awfully small offering in comparison to the gift, but then a gift is free isn't it? God doesn't expect me to earn His favor, nor does He expect me to repay His kindness because there is no way that I could.

God is so gracious friends. He is loving and merciful and His love for us is not dependant on how good or bad we are. And He is an amazing, big, important gift giver too. He desires time with us, relationship with us, and He desires for us to receive the gifts He offers. After all, how sad is a gift that is never received?

Until next time friends,
blessings and peace and love to you all~
Andora Henson, thewritingmommy

So, I had a heart attack....

I'm 47 years old. I am a survivor of many things. I live with the chronic pain of fibromyalgia and have since 1997. I survived cancer, childhood sexual abuse, foster homes, poverty and homelessness, and well, the list goes one but you get the picture. I have always felt that surviving the many cards I was dealt made me stronger by God's grace, and on July 14, 2013 I added another to my list of crazy things I have lived through.... I survived a heart attack.

It wasn't a big dramatic thing, in fact I wasn't sure it was really a heart attack and waited until the pastor had finished his sermon before I even mentioned anything. I was going to stay for the business meeting that followed till the sweating started again. I told my husband, "I think I may need to go to the hospital." He knew I had been feeling poorly so he gathered the troops and met me at the van where I quickly told him "maybe we should just go home so I can rest." We had an extra child with us since my oldest daughter had a friend stay over the night before and we always met this family at the hospital since it was a middle point between our homes. As we arrived the nausea, chest pains, jaw pain, and profuse sweating began again so since we were at the hospital anyway I decided "I'll just go on in and have this checked out. Just in case..."

About an hour later the E.R. doctor came in and sat down next to the slab I was on that they called a bed and told me " well, it appears that you did indeed have yourself a little heart attack."
My first reaction was to laugh. I don't know why, it just was, but I stifled that reaction so that they wouldn't add insanity to my diagnosis. It still seems surreal.

Since that day I have found that one artery was blocked at 70% and another at 80%. Both have been stented and the prognosis is good as I understand it.

My husband, sisters, family, and friends have been amazing and supportive. I have had days when I felt that this must all have been a dream, days that I felt like I was run over by a truck, really tired days but mostly I have very grateful days. I keep expecting to have more of what I call A.H.A. (after heart attack) moments where I have piercing bouts of insight and wisdom, but I'm still waiting for those. I had one, just one, the Sunday after I got out of the hospital, exactly one week after the heart attack. I was washing the dishes that somehow gather after we all go to bed while waiting for my coffee to brew. I stood looking out of my window over the sink and thought "I'm so grateful that I get to wash my dishes today."

I would like to say that I have not lost my temper since that day but that isn't true. I'd like to say that I take everything with a grain of salt and perspective but even that isn't completely true, while it is more true than before. The truth is more like; I am quicker to remember that it all counts, that I'm so blessed to still be here, and that I have a purpose in God's kingdom or I wouldn't still be here.

I'm still a work in progress, as are we all. And I'm so thankful to still be "in progress". 

Blessings and peace to you all,
Andora Henson, thewritingmommy

Redeemed - Big Daddy Weave (With Lyrics)