30 Day Writing Challenge – Day 2
Write something that someone told you about yourself that
you never forgot.
In the interest of fairness, I will tell of two things I was
told that I never forgot; one favorable, one hurtful.
Actually, I think both
were offhanded comments, not meant to hurt or help, but just part of passing
conversations. It is interesting the things we hang on to, and all the things
we forget.
In the summer of 1980 I was 14 years old. I lived with my
dad and his family during the school year but was staying with mom and my
sisters for the summer. My Aunt happened to be living with mom at the time so
while it was cramped there I was thrilled nonetheless. We had grown apart as we’d aged my aunt Neda
and me. As a child mom and I lived with
her sometimes and I stayed with her a lot when mom was off chasing rainbows.
It
happened that one day we were in the kitchen together; I was making lemonade
and she, a margarita. The temperature that summer was over a hundred degrees
every day that year and I was determined to get a tan even if I literally had
to bake to do it, so I was wearing my bikini. My Aunt and I were making drinks
as I mentioned and making small talk as we did so and she noticed a photo I was
using as a bookmark.
“Who’s that hunk?” she asked.
“That’s my boyfriend, Leif Garrett.” I smiled
Her look revealed her doubt as I began to giggle. “No
really, who is he cause he couldn’t be your boyfriend.” she said as if she were
telling me the sky was blue or the day was Monday.
“He’s a singer Aunt Neda; wait, why couldn’t he be my
boyfriend?” I asked sincerely
“Because he is way too cute to date you; you could never get
a looker like that kiddo.”
I stood there not knowing quite what to say. See, I was
raised in the south and you did not sass your elders, or we didn’t anyway. I
wanted to cry but I was too embarrassed even for that. I began to wonder if she
was right; was I not worthy of a handsome boyfriend? Was I not good enough for
someone like him? She never knew how her
words hurt me and I still feel the sting of that statement some days but then I
look at my most handsome husband and I know that she was wrong.
Years later, about 25 years later in fact, I was to have
another innocent comment affect me as deeply, but in a more positive way.
I was
giving a friend a ride to work. I don't remember if her car had broken down or her
husband needed it that day, but for whatever reason we were in the car together
that morning. We were having the normal co-worker sort of conversation; what
was going on that day, what we might expect later and what had happened the day
before when she suddenly got sort of serious.
“Ann, I need to thank you.”
Of course, I assumed she was thanking me for the ride again so I began
to tell her it really was alright and not a big deal. She stopped me mid
sentence.
“No, let me say this. I want to thank you for what you said
a couple of months ago.” I couldn’t remember
what I’d said last night since we’d adopted another daughter and this one had
sleep issues as well so I asked her what I said that could have been so
profound that she remembered it for that long.
“We were talking about church service that night. It was a Wednesday,
and we were both beat from the day. I told you that I couldn’t believe you had
the energy to go to church after the day we’d had and you simply said, “I don’t
have the energy to go, but I’m going anyway. It isn’t always about what we want
though, is it? It’s about fellowship, and community, and doing the right thing
even when it’s the hard thing.” Then you moved on to another topic as if that
were something that anyone might say, or think, or feel. But it wasn’t. And
that statement made me rethink a lot of things in my life and I want to thank
you.”
All I could say was, “you’re welcome.” because honestly, I didn’t
remember saying it. I believed her because that was how I saw the matter, but
it really didn’t seem like a big deal to me, doing what you commit to I mean.
Her thanks that day made me more aware of what I said for a
very long time. Sadly, I don’t always pay as close attention before it leaves
my mouth, but I do try.
Anyway, those are two things that were said to me that have
stayed for all these years. They remind me how very important our words are to
those who receive them and remind me to use them wisely and well.
And that is my Day 2 writing assignment. Nothing really earth shattering but I did show up, and that is really the most important part of writing most days. Isn't it?
As always, I'd love to hear your comments or your own Day 2 writing. Peace to you all-
TheWritingMommy
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